One of the things I try to remind folks is that interactions are dyadic; a jerk to you may not be a jerk for someone else. So I generally refer out to jerks (while being clear with the new person that my interaction wasn't awesome, so that they can opt-out if they choose).
Generally, people are coming to me for advice. So if, after a meeting, I feel like there is a personality clash, I tend to refer them on to others (with the caveat). The entire framework suggests: stop talking to Idiot/Assholes, refer out Genius/Assholes, give Idiot/Awesome homework.
"[I]nteractions are dyadic; a jerk to you may not be a jerk for someone else."
Exactly, yes. All people are sometimes a jerk to some people, and kind and generous to other people.
"If, after a meeting, I feel like there is a personality clash, I tend to refer them on to others..."
I think this depends on how important it is to work with that person in particular. Yes, if I'm meeting a casual acquaintance for advice and they are a jerk to me, I'm not losing much by avoiding them going forward. But if I start a new project with a great team, and ONE of those teammates is a jerk to me, it's worth trying to change that relationship before resorting to more drastic measures.
One of the things I try to remind folks is that interactions are dyadic; a jerk to you may not be a jerk for someone else. So I generally refer out to jerks (while being clear with the new person that my interaction wasn't awesome, so that they can opt-out if they choose).
Generally, people are coming to me for advice. So if, after a meeting, I feel like there is a personality clash, I tend to refer them on to others (with the caveat). The entire framework suggests: stop talking to Idiot/Assholes, refer out Genius/Assholes, give Idiot/Awesome homework.
Thanks for reading, Matt!
"[I]nteractions are dyadic; a jerk to you may not be a jerk for someone else."
Exactly, yes. All people are sometimes a jerk to some people, and kind and generous to other people.
"If, after a meeting, I feel like there is a personality clash, I tend to refer them on to others..."
I think this depends on how important it is to work with that person in particular. Yes, if I'm meeting a casual acquaintance for advice and they are a jerk to me, I'm not losing much by avoiding them going forward. But if I start a new project with a great team, and ONE of those teammates is a jerk to me, it's worth trying to change that relationship before resorting to more drastic measures.