11 Comments
Nov 15, 2023Liked by Simon Lepkin

One practical thing you should always, always do, before taking time for anything, is to get set up with unemployment. It typically takes a few weeks for the process to complete and to start getting payments, so get it started ASAP even if you have severance pay coming in. These days, it's typically all done online, and direct deposit to your account. Once that's squared away, follow Simon's excellent advice and take some time to clear your head.

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If you took time after losing the job, use it to cool down and think if it was net positive. if it was, don't use "I should have ..." if you actually shouldn't have. I lost my job multiple times and so far (in 30+ years career) it was NEVER net negative. I would've been worse within like 5-10 yr horizon if I stayed.

Especially don't say "I should have" if you shouldn't and the history proved you right. But be very careful trumping the fact that the history proved you right, you might be talking to someone who you will prove wrong next time and meanwhile it's better to keep them in the dark.

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I think you're suggesting "If you made the right call but were fired for it, don't feign regret"? If so, I totally agree. But there's always a lesson to be learned, usually around communication or timing or relationships. So it's good to include that lesson in your story, if only to signal humility to recruiters.

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In many such cases the lesson learned is very important but what's more important is to not communicate it to the recruiter and a hiring manager. One can of course fabricate something neutrally positive, but I prefer not to fabricate things if I can.

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Oct 2, 2023·edited Oct 2, 2023Author

I, too, prefer not to fabricate things! But I'm curious about why you wouldn't want to communicate the lesson to the recruiter/HM. Even if the lesson is something risky like "Don't work for people with the following traits: XYZ," that's a great lesson to get out into the open so they can help you can determine whether the traits of your potential leadership will work for you.

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Nailed it. Your predecessor who they are looking to replace with you left telling them "I'm not going to work with XYZ people". And now they're interviewing someone who says "oh, and no fucking way I'm going to work for someone with XYZ". What should they do? Quit? Yes, of course, but really?

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Oct 2, 2023·edited Oct 2, 2023Author

Haha, I'd say they should hire someone who is OK working under people with XYZ! And if they can't find anyone like that, they can take that as a personal lesson about the destructiveness of XYZ in a leader.

More often, I suspect an XYZ leader would say "Oh, I'm not XYZ even though that person I fired says I am." In that case, you have to find some way to discover XYZ-ness even when the person is unaware of it. That's tricky.

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" they can take that as a personal lesson"

okay, now Simon is being toxic!

"That's tricky."

Very. It's a pissing contest you don't want to be a part of unless you literally have an empty fridge and nothing to fill it with.

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don't get me wrong, but if you're good at what you do and if you're good at interviewing the probability of you being mistaken is very close to zero.

I didn't try very hard interviewing at U but I listened to what they were asking and not only I understood what they were hiring me for but also when that "what" is going to happen and I missed by 1 month (out of 2 years).

After some iterations and a decade or two of experience you basically know everything after 2-3 rounds of interviews. EVERYTHING.

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Oct 2, 2023·edited Oct 2, 2023Liked by Simon Lepkin

tbph, I was once on the receiving end of this tirade and of course I didn't hire, but I went home thinking. and thinking a lot.

but i didn't hire.

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Is it weird to comment on my own article a week after publishing it? Whatever, doing it anyways.

I ran across this highly relevant post, from Alison Green of Ask a Manager: https://www.askamanager.org/2019/10/should-i-not-tell-interviewers-i-left-my-last-job-because-of-bad-management.html.

This is a PERFECT example of how to walk that narrow line when talking to interviewers about a bad experience at your last job.

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