This is wonderfully timed for me, given a situation that just occurred at my last workplace. Seriously, super applicable, and I'm glad you wrote it before I begin my job search (which won't be for half a year, but still). Something important for me to remember. I wasn't in the wrong for trusting someone who ended up betraying me and the company as a whole, and I would be silly to put that distrust I gained onto others.
I think the article might be stronger not as a refutation of cynicism, but as a call to act authentically, as you do in the last section of the post.
Reframed in a post where the main point is authenticity, trust is gained or lost as a result of authentic interactions which makes it a byproduct and a gauge of your relationships rather than something to be explicitly given or risked.
If someone is in a headspace where they view others with cynicism and negativity, isn’t encouraging them to trust also encouraging them to act inauthentically? Is their lack of trust symptomatic of a deeper issue? And if so, is that deeper issue something that can be rehabilitated?
Yeah, authenticity is definitely important, but it's not the only thing I'm trying to endorse here. Like so many things, I think it varies by person.
Some people act more defensive than they really want to, because they have the misguided belief that it's the best way to protect their interests. In that case, pushing them to be authentic, and reassuring them that their defensive stance is doing more harm than good, is helpful.
As you say, other people are in a really negative headspace, and authentically mistrust everyone! But I don't think projecting that mistrust outwards is helpful for them; instead, I'd encourage them to take a chance with their new teammates one more time.
For other other people, there's some old, deep-seated trauma(s) that'll require years of therapy to work through. I am not qualified to help them.
Of course, there's a spectrum between all three of these possibilities.
This is wonderfully timed for me, given a situation that just occurred at my last workplace. Seriously, super applicable, and I'm glad you wrote it before I begin my job search (which won't be for half a year, but still). Something important for me to remember. I wasn't in the wrong for trusting someone who ended up betraying me and the company as a whole, and I would be silly to put that distrust I gained onto others.
I think the article might be stronger not as a refutation of cynicism, but as a call to act authentically, as you do in the last section of the post.
Reframed in a post where the main point is authenticity, trust is gained or lost as a result of authentic interactions which makes it a byproduct and a gauge of your relationships rather than something to be explicitly given or risked.
If someone is in a headspace where they view others with cynicism and negativity, isn’t encouraging them to trust also encouraging them to act inauthentically? Is their lack of trust symptomatic of a deeper issue? And if so, is that deeper issue something that can be rehabilitated?
Yeah, authenticity is definitely important, but it's not the only thing I'm trying to endorse here. Like so many things, I think it varies by person.
Some people act more defensive than they really want to, because they have the misguided belief that it's the best way to protect their interests. In that case, pushing them to be authentic, and reassuring them that their defensive stance is doing more harm than good, is helpful.
As you say, other people are in a really negative headspace, and authentically mistrust everyone! But I don't think projecting that mistrust outwards is helpful for them; instead, I'd encourage them to take a chance with their new teammates one more time.
For other other people, there's some old, deep-seated trauma(s) that'll require years of therapy to work through. I am not qualified to help them.
Of course, there's a spectrum between all three of these possibilities.